Home Comments Contact Us

Servicing God Again

Getting Up After Falling Down

Whether a person falls in the natural or the spiritual one thing is for sure - it hurts, but you are only defeated if you never get up.  I had been born again for about two years and within those years my husband had an affair and my dad died and I was heading towards divorce court.  I was driving to work and just thinking about the mess my life had become.  I thought I lost the battles in my life.  I was believing God would help save my marriage and I was just developing a relationship with my father before he passed.  I heard a voice in my spirit say, You won.  I responded by saying please explain how I won?  "You still have Me" was the reply.  I could do nothing but worship, praise God and weep the rest of the way to work.

I have watched several fights on TV and did you ever notice that a fighter will continue to hit in an area that is already injured. The devil is no different.  The devil will try to hit us in any area of our lives that are still injured and haven't been healed. He never attacks our strengthen.  He attacks our weaknesses.   The Philistines didn't fight Samson directly.  The Philistines used Samson's weakness which was Delilah to attack his strength.  I know that the three major sins that can damage a ministry are: money, pride and sex.     

In a vision I saw a battle taking place and it was hand to hand combat.  There was about thirty feet separating the forces.  As the battle progressed I saw the people in the front lines being wounded and lying on the ground.  At first the people behind the front line would step over the wounded and continue to fight the enemy.  The wounded were protected by the new front line and they were being cared for by the rest of the army.  As the battle  continued, more people in the front line were wounded.  This time no one took there place and the enemy gained ground and trampled on the wounded.  I saw the enemy smash the heads and backs of the wounded warriors because no one was willing to protect the wounded by taking their  place in the battle.

After the vision, I knew that someone was to help me, but didn't and that I was to recover and get back into the battle.  There are wounding and disappointments and the way to be healed is to focus on the Lord Jesus and His kingdom.  This page is not about "stuff" done to us, but what we did to the Lord. I truly wish that I would have listened to the Lord and not sinned, but I can't change the past.  I can only learn from it by examining my weaknesses and asking the Lord for his strength. I firmly believe that a Christian can live a sinless life, but that is not my testimony.

Steps to repentance and restoration

1.) If we fall or sin, we must confess and repent which means turn away from your sin, ask for forgiveness, don't justify your sin, call sin sin and ask for forgiveness.  Examine your heart as to why,  this is not to condemn, but to protect yourself from doing the same thing again.  I was too busy doing the Lord's work and I wasn't spending time enough time in prayer and the Bible.  I let a person into my life that God told me not to associate with.  This person consumed all of my time and there was none left for Lord Jesus Christ.  A key to remember is that it is the Lord's work, not yours, His kingdom, not yours. So while I was working for Lord Jesus I should have been in constant communication with Him.  We are only vessels that Jesus uses.  The best vessels are the vessels that are emptied of self so that we can experience the fullness of Christ.

2.) Forgive from your heart that includes forgiving yourself.  Is it possible for a Christian to do something so terrible that they never truly forgive themselves and thus end up in Hell? I say yes, "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."  This step took me years because I thought of myself more highly than I ought to think. Why? Spiritual pride, I never thought I would have done such a thing.  True humility believes:  Lord, if I would have stayed close to you,  I would not have fallen, but I strayed.   A prideful person will have a harder time forgiving themself because they think that they should have known better, but a humble person will say, "Lord forgive me, I'm flesh, and if I would have leaned on you and asked for your grace I would have never fell, but I didn't.  I forgive myself and ask you to cleanse me with your precious blood."

3.) What has helped me is by doing the "first works."  The fasting, praying and studying God's word.  At first, it was very hard to read the Bible.  Every few sentences brought crushing blows of condemnation. It is natural to "hide" from God after we sin even if we have confessed and repented.  We hide in secular activities, church activities and the television. I was so tried of feeling bad about myself.  I just wanted to feel good again knowing that it wasn't God condemning or judging me.  It was me.  But my love for God and His love for me was stronger than the condemnation. I quit hiding from Him and started pursuing Him again. The love was rekindled.  The relationship was restored, the worship was coming forth as pure worship. A deeper worship and awe for a God because He will never leaves us or forsakes us. A God who is forever faithful even when we are not.  A God who shed His blood to open the door for the redemption for all of mankind.

4.) I had to learn to trust my spirit again.  We are to be led by the spirit of God and God mainly speaks to our spirits.  My sin involved making a spiritual connection with the wrong person.  My spirit fell in love with the wrong spirit and lead me astray.  This was only possible because I had spend years learning to follow my spirit never thinking for a moment that my spirit was capable of making an independent and wrong decision apart from God. I know what you are thinking bad doctrine! Christian should be led by the Spirit of God, not our spirits.  We only follow our spirits if they are following the Spirit of God. 

5.) Trust in the blood of Lord Jesus Christ, trust in His love and forgiveness.

6.) Love yourself!  Love God, love you, and love others.  We would be less selfish if we loved ourselves.  Selfishness isn't loving yourself more than others.  It is protecting yourself from others.  Selfishness brings isolation and the sense of abandonment.  The cure for selfishness is love.  When you love yourself.  You see a worth in yourself and that "worth" is spread to other people and you begin to love them too.  And as you love others the selfishness fades always.  I love the "God" within me regardless of what I do, therefore I can love the "God" within you regardless what you do. 

"If you have no hope for tomorrow, you have no power for today" unknown author